If I Hadn't Found Jesus...

[Geoff]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/if-i-h ... out,17883/

[Pappa]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/if-i-h ... out,17883/

It'd be even funnier if it wasn't also pretty true.

[mistermack]

I don't think it is true. That guy is taking the piss. If the quote is genuine. I can tell someone's having a laugh, trying to goad people.
I suppose if you're looking at a life in jail, that's all you've got left.

Edit. So it's a spoof, is it? I dunno, I never heard of onion. I preferred it when I thought it was genuine.
.

[chaggle]

Had I known that sooner, I would've killed way more people.

FFS The Onion

[normal]

It's brilliant

[charlou]

mistermack, that's what makes the onion so good ...

And man, is it great! All those remorse pounds I lost came right back with my renewed appetite, and I'm sleeping better than ever. Sure, every once in a while, my dreams are interrupted by the image of that 6-year-old with a broken neck pointing at me, but that's why I keep ol' 1 John 1:9 taped to my ceiling: "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Pretty straightforward, right? And it's not like that kid isn't in heaven right now, bathing in His loving light and everything.

See, God's looking out for both of us.

Ohhhh, that's about as dark as satire gets .... Good stuff.

[GenesForLife]

[Trolldor]

mistermack, that's what makes the onion so good ...

And man, is it great! All those remorse pounds I lost came right back with my renewed appetite, and I'm sleeping better than ever. Sure, every once in a while, my dreams are interrupted by the image of that 6-year-old with a broken neck pointing at me, but that's why I keep ol' 1 John 1:9 taped to my ceiling: "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Pretty straightforward, right? And it's not like that kid isn't in heaven right now, bathing in His loving light and everything.

See, God's looking out for both of us.

Ohhhh, that's about as dark as satire gets .... Good stuff.

It's actually one I've quite liked as opposed to simply found funny.

Someone's making a point, rather than a joke.

[leo-rcc]

It's actually one I've quite liked as opposed to simply found funny.

Someone's making a point, rather than a joke.

The Onion does that all the time.

Yes it is funny in a way, but there is quite often an underlying message there.

[Trolldor]

It's actually one I've quite liked as opposed to simply found funny.

Someone's making a point, rather than a joke.

The Onion does that all the time.

Yes it is funny in a way, but there is quite often an underlying message there.

I meant making serious commentary instead of just saying "Oh look, how silly is is that people do this" which is what most of their articles are like.