Holy Crap!
-
klr
- (%gibber(who=klr, what=Leprageek);)
- Posts: 32964
- Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 1:25 pm
- About me: The money was just resting in my account.
- Location: Airstrip Two
-
Contact:
Post
by klr » Thu Mar 11, 2010 6:02 pm
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/03/11 ... _exorcist/
The Catholic Church's top exorcist has warned that Satan is alive and well and causing a whole load of problems at the Holy See.
Father Gabriele Amorth, who according to The Times is president of honour of the Association of Exorcists, said the Vatican's current problems - including recurrent child abuse allegations and a brewing gay prostitution scandal - can be largely attributed to Lucifer's visitation at the Vatican.
According to The Times, Amorth blames "cardinals who do not believe in Jesus, and bishops who are linked to the Demon".
"When one speaks of 'the smoke of Satan' [a phrase coined by Pope Paul VI in 1972] in the holy rooms, it is all true – including these latest stories of violence and paedophilia," he said.
Amorth is probably better qualified than most when it comes to dealing with Satan and the lesser demons. He has apparently dealt with 70,000 cases of demonic possession*. He was instrumental in ensuring that the traditional exorcism ritual was retained, despite the Vatican's minting of a new "improved" ritual, which Amorth condemned as a "blunt sword".
At the same time, Amorth is clearly worldly enough to use the dark arts of PR. His comments follow the launch of a book - Father Amorth. Memoirs of an Exorcist. My life fighting against Satan - based on interviews with the priest by Italian journalist Marco Tosatti.
According to the Catholic News Agency, in the book Amorth is asked if he had told the Pope about the Satanic forces at work within the Holy See.
"Of course," replied Father Amorth. "But he does what he can. It's a horrifying thing."
But there is a slight problem, in that being German, the Pope has not much of a background in demonology, with Amorth explaining "there practically aren't any exorcists [there]".
The Association of Exorcists apparently has 200 members, all priests. However, inevitably, there is an American organisation that allows anyone to become an exorcist. It says exorcists must show the qualities of "commitment, compassion, love, determination, and perseverance" and pay the annual dues of $5, or $10 if they live outside the US. ®
Correction
We previously said Fr Amorth performed 70,000 exorcisms. That would of course mean an incredibly busy schedule.

God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place within organized religion. - Superintendent Chalmers
It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cock-eyed! - Rex Banner
The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression. - Gary Larson

-
virphen
- Posts: 1451
- Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 2:37 am
- About me: "that fairy-fingering ass-raping space lizard"
One year own my home planet = 3 on earth.
- Location: Orbit.
Post
by virphen » Thu Mar 11, 2010 6:07 pm
What's the phrase... "nuttier than squirrel shit".
-
klr
- (%gibber(who=klr, what=Leprageek);)
- Posts: 32964
- Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 1:25 pm
- About me: The money was just resting in my account.
- Location: Airstrip Two
-
Contact:
Post
by klr » Thu Mar 11, 2010 6:09 pm
virphen wrote:What's the phrase... "nuttier than squirrel shit".
I think David Yallop claimed some time ago that satanic worship was alive and well in the Vatican. I guess this is proof.

God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place within organized religion. - Superintendent Chalmers
It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cock-eyed! - Rex Banner
The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression. - Gary Larson

-
klazmon
- Posts: 23
- Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2010 7:05 am
-
Contact:
Post
by klazmon » Fri Mar 12, 2010 10:31 am
Bat shit crazy theist blames imaginary entity for failings of members of his organisation. Maybe they should look at accepting responsibility for their own actions? Just a thought.
-
Clinton Huxley
- 19th century monkeybitch.
- Posts: 23739
- Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 4:34 pm
-
Contact:
Post
by Clinton Huxley » Fri Mar 12, 2010 10:41 am
Amorth is probably better qualified than most when it comes to dealing with Satan and the lesser demons
Where can I get a qualification like that? Wonder if the local college does it
-
JimC
- The sentimental bloke
- Posts: 74151
- Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:58 am
- About me: To be serious about gin requires years of dedicated research.
- Location: Melbourne, Australia
-
Contact:
Post
by JimC » Fri Mar 12, 2010 11:09 am
I just love the drama when imaginary beings get into fights!

Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!
-
Clinton Huxley
- 19th century monkeybitch.
- Posts: 23739
- Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 4:34 pm
-
Contact:
Post
by Clinton Huxley » Fri Mar 12, 2010 11:12 am
JimC wrote:I just love the drama when imaginary beings get into fights!

I'd like to see that priests CV. I wonder if he puts, "I am extremely experienced in dealing with Satan and also with lesser imps and demons, and am capable of exorcising them on my own or as part of a team".
-
klr
- (%gibber(who=klr, what=Leprageek);)
- Posts: 32964
- Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 1:25 pm
- About me: The money was just resting in my account.
- Location: Airstrip Two
-
Contact:
Post
by klr » Fri Mar 12, 2010 11:22 am
Clinton Huxley wrote:JimC wrote:I just love the drama when imaginary beings get into fights!

I'd like to see that priests CV. I wonder if he puts, "I am extremely experienced in dealing with Satan and also with lesser imps and demons, and am capable of exorcising them on my own or as part of a team".
There's probably something about being "goal oriented" in there as well.

God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place within organized religion. - Superintendent Chalmers
It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cock-eyed! - Rex Banner
The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression. - Gary Larson

-
Animavore
- Nasty Hombre
- Posts: 39276
- Joined: Sun Mar 01, 2009 11:26 am
- Location: Ire Land.
-
Contact:
Post
by Animavore » Fri Mar 12, 2010 11:44 am
"Begone Satan".
Does anyone else think that the exorcism department is just where they dump the more bat-shit crazy element of the church so they're out of harms way?
Libertarianism: The belief that out of all the terrible things governments can do, helping people is the absolute worst.
-
epepke
- Posts: 128
- Joined: Thu Feb 25, 2010 4:30 am
-
Contact:
Post
by epepke » Sun Mar 14, 2010 7:13 am
Note that priests' fucking kids is not a problem. It's just plain Godly. Only the stories and accusations of paedophilia are the work of Satan.
Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 4 guests