Post
by floppit » Wed Dec 23, 2009 9:11 am
Ok, for problems I'd say that top of my list is blame. Not quite so much when the religious pray for the religious but when they pray for non believers over issues that are measurable like life and death and their prayers do not have the desired results - things do not go well, then I think there is an element of blame placed on the non believer at a time they need it least. That's a big downside.
But, and I might get a little scorched for saying this, I do think there's an upside for the prayer (as opposed to prayed for) in praying for other people. To take some time out of one's own life situation and to consider another's is something I think can be very healthy and a habit of prayer, lists of people to be prayed for, can achieve that. I have a childhood memory of the church announced prayer list, like jungle drums for where a bit of extra thought is needed, a lost job, illness, operations. I have no illusion that the private prayers made no difference to those prayed for but to the person praying I think it gives a broader perspective of life's ups and downs, one that extends beyond their own circumstances.
Like Rum, I've enjoyed reading some buddhist philosophy (ooops - perhaps you didn't enjoy it Rum), not from a spiritual point of view but some of the ideas and philosophies I found really interesting and helpful. Probably the biggest of those is to accept that my perceptions of my loved ones as actually more important than any other person is illogical, same goes for myself. I'd never achieve living that way, I'm 100% human and as egocentric as the next person but at least knowing this is a human error rather than reality does help me. Sometimes, in my job even often, I see people in very hard situations and for a while I used to set aside a little time each day to consider what those situations needed to from people to make life easier. For example, a person cut off from family or so anxious they won't go out, maybe they need a phonecall, maybe a person not to be frustrated or angry. Whatever it is that my flawed but best thinking comes up with I'd then try to put back in the world (phone my parents, accept someone else's fears) - it doesn't matter where I'd do it because the person I know isn't actually more important than the one I don't. I found this a really functional way of not feeling useless in the face of people's very real distress but I must admit the habit has waned over time. Bizarrely this thread has reminded me of my own prayer alternative and given me a nudge not to forget it entirely.
I don't think prayer is entirely negative, but I think the concept of religion isn't helpful to doing it well.
"Whatever it is, it spits and it goes 'WAAARGHHHHHHHH' - that's probably enough to suggest you shouldn't argue with it." Mousy.
- thanks!
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