Dying Child Denied Chance At Life By God
By Wanker Andreas For AustrianTimes.com
Published: 11:07 EST, 14 May 2015 | Updated: 14:35 EST, 14 May 2015
Timmy von Struddle, 7, of Freistadt, was today cruelly murdered by God when the deity refused to save him after his life support system was turned off.
Timmy was stuck by lightning, presumably sent by God, on Saturday as he cared for orphaned Quokkas at the Freistadt Zoo. Timmy was taken to the Helmut von Goerring Hospital where doctors confirmed that little Timmy had suffered severe brain damage and had sunk into a coma.
Late yesterday evening, Timmy's mother, Apfel von Struddle, sought spiritual advice and took the painful decision to turn off little Timmy's life support systems. Timmy's pastor, Father von Kunst-Wankel, prayed over Timmy and laid hands on him as the life support was turned off.
Despite von Kunst-Wankel's direct representations to God to save the boy, God killed him anyway.
When asked if this shook his faith in God, Kunst-Wankel replied, "God works in mysterious ways".
God didn't to respond to our requests for an interview.
'Splain this one Religionists...
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pErvinalia
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'Splain this one Religionists...
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"The Western world is fucking awesome because of mostly white men" - DaveDodo007.
"Socialized medicine is just exactly as morally defensible as gassing and cooking Jews" - Seth. Yes, he really did say that..
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Re: 'Splain this one Religionists...
Well, the good news is that little Timmy is sitting on Jesus' lap right this moment. Perhaps God was saving him from something worse.rEvolutionist wrote:Dying Child Denied Chance At Life By God
By Wanker Andreas For AustrianTimes.com
Published: 11:07 EST, 14 May 2015 | Updated: 14:35 EST, 14 May 2015
Timmy von Struddle, 7, of Freistadt, was today cruelly murdered by God when the deity refused to save him after his life support system was turned off.
Timmy was stuck by lightning, presumably sent by God, on Saturday as he cared for orphaned Quokkas at the Freistadt Zoo. Timmy was taken to the Helmut von Goerring Hospital where doctors confirmed that little Timmy had suffered severe brain damage and had sunk into a coma.
Late yesterday evening, Timmy's mother, Apfel von Struddle, sought spiritual advice and took the painful decision to turn off little Timmy's life support systems. Timmy's pastor, Father von Kunst-Wankel, prayed over Timmy and laid hands on him as the life support was turned off.
Despite von Kunst-Wankel's direct representations to God to save the boy, God killed him anyway.
When asked if this shook his faith in God, Kunst-Wankel replied, "God works in mysterious ways".
God didn't to respond to our requests for an interview.
"Seth is Grandmaster Zen Troll who trains his victims to troll themselves every time they think of him" Robert_S
"All that is required for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke
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© 2013/2014/2015/2016 Seth, all rights reserved. No reuse, republication, duplication, or derivative work is authorized.
"All that is required for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke
"Those who support denying anyone the right to keep and bear arms for personal defense are fully complicit in every crime that might have been prevented had the victim been effectively armed." Seth
© 2013/2014/2015/2016 Seth, all rights reserved. No reuse, republication, duplication, or derivative work is authorized.
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pErvinalia
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Re: 'Splain this one Religionists...
Perhaps you're making up explanations for stuff you have zero evidence for.. 
Sent from my penis using wankertalk.
"The Western world is fucking awesome because of mostly white men" - DaveDodo007.
"Socialized medicine is just exactly as morally defensible as gassing and cooking Jews" - Seth. Yes, he really did say that..
"Seth you are a boon to this community" - Cunt.
"I am seriously thinking of going on a spree killing" - Svartalf.
"The Western world is fucking awesome because of mostly white men" - DaveDodo007.
"Socialized medicine is just exactly as morally defensible as gassing and cooking Jews" - Seth. Yes, he really did say that..
"Seth you are a boon to this community" - Cunt.
"I am seriously thinking of going on a spree killing" - Svartalf.
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JimC
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Re: 'Splain this one Religionists...
Given the predilections of his priests, that may not be a particularly safe place...Seth wrote:
Well, the good news is that little Timmy is sitting on Jesus' lap right this moment.
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!
And my gin!
Re: 'Splain this one Religionists...
How did I know somebody would use that canard?JimC wrote:Given the predilections of his priests, that may not be a particularly safe place...Seth wrote:
Well, the good news is that little Timmy is sitting on Jesus' lap right this moment.
"Seth is Grandmaster Zen Troll who trains his victims to troll themselves every time they think of him" Robert_S
"All that is required for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke
"Those who support denying anyone the right to keep and bear arms for personal defense are fully complicit in every crime that might have been prevented had the victim been effectively armed." Seth
© 2013/2014/2015/2016 Seth, all rights reserved. No reuse, republication, duplication, or derivative work is authorized.
"All that is required for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke
"Those who support denying anyone the right to keep and bear arms for personal defense are fully complicit in every crime that might have been prevented had the victim been effectively armed." Seth
© 2013/2014/2015/2016 Seth, all rights reserved. No reuse, republication, duplication, or derivative work is authorized.
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laklak
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Re: 'Splain this one Religionists...
Little Timmy is eating roast beef with Jebus as we speak. With Yorkies and gravy, peas and onions, roast tatties and neeps, and strawberry shortcake. Jebus ain't no veggie granola crunchy, he has dominion over everything that walks, swims, or flies, and he eat whatever he want. It's good to be the Boss's kid.
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.
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Xamonas Chegwé
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Re: 'Splain this one Religionists...
Can you get Swan? Always wondered what that tasted like. Can't get it here cos Mrs Queen baggsied it all!laklak wrote:Little Timmy is eating roast beef with Jebus as we speak. With Yorkies and gravy, peas and onions, roast tatties and neeps, and strawberry shortcake. Jebus ain't no veggie granola crunchy, he has dominion over everything that walks, swims, or flies, and he eat whatever he want. It's good to be the Boss's kid.
A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
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You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
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Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur
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laklak
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Re: 'Splain this one Religionists...
Jebus can get a swaturdukin if he wants. Jebus can get you anything, for the right price. He's a Jew, after all.
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.
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