An utterly immodest proposal.

[Audley Strange]

So as we know, many religious folks think that "Atheism" or "New Atheism" is a religion and you know, they should know. Consequently, why not? Look there is a lot of Cash to be made, we could then, as an established religion get tax breaks and hopefully be offered privilege when dealing with the Governments. Our figureheads opinions would "matter" even outside their specialised fields, even getting free publicity. In other words we would go from being a disparate "rebellious" group to part of the Establishment.

Which is what we want yes?

So, since I know little about the whole Church play day rigmarole, what would we need other than a book and a set of unprovable contentions?

[Drewish]

I recommend ripping off a bunch of public domain stories, making them short and easy to read, putting them in a book, encapsulating it with some vague rhetoric about how things formed / work that's consistent with modern science and giving it a snazzy name and a website. And bing-boom, you're in business!

[JimC]

We need fancy robes, and obscure titles for the various ranks of the hierarchy...

My robe must contain both lurid green and obscene purple, and my title shall be "Holy Juniper Tester"

[Audley Strange]

We need fancy robes, and obscure titles for the various ranks of the hierarchy...

My robe must contain both lurid green and obscene purple, and my title shall be "Holy Juniper Tester"

Robes are so middle ages. I was thinking charcoal or black suits for the men with garish overly expensive training shoes, and for the women... well, do YOU want to tell them what's appropriate to wear?

I recommend ripping off a bunch of public domain stories, making them short and easy to read, putting them in a book, encapsulating it with some vague rhetoric about how things formed / work that's consistent with modern science and giving it a snazzy name and a website. And bing-boom, you're in business!

Your missing one thing. The handing over of self responsibility from the individual to the group. That's going to be tough without an imagined Dominator setting an immutable and absolute moral standard for us all to ignore.

[Drewish]

I recommend ripping off a bunch of public domain stories, making them short and easy to read, putting them in a book, encapsulating it with some vague rhetoric about how things formed / work that's consistent with modern science and giving it a snazzy name and a website. And bing-boom, you're in business!

Your missing one thing. The handing over of self responsibility from the individual to the group. That's going to be tough without an imagined Dominator setting an immutable and absolute moral standard for us all to ignore.

Use a dead historical figure. They're not around to protest. In fact you can make them a character in many of your rip off short stories. Keep it plausible and it's even better. Ancestor worship is a great substitute for God. If that doesn't work, you can always go for some BS about life being a self perpetuating entity that we're all part of, yadda yadda, and claim that it's humanity's destiny to spread life beyond the boundaries of Earth. Giving them a sacred mission that promotes a notion of everything being permissible so long as it can be justified as supposedly benefiting the continuation of life. A sacred mission is a great selling point. Prophecy is a must for all the trendy religions

[Audley Strange]

I recommend ripping off a bunch of public domain stories, making them short and easy to read, putting them in a book, encapsulating it with some vague rhetoric about how things formed / work that's consistent with modern science and giving it a snazzy name and a website. And bing-boom, you're in business!

Your missing one thing. The handing over of self responsibility from the individual to the group. That's going to be tough without an imagined Dominator setting an immutable and absolute moral standard for us all to ignore.

Use a dead historical figure. They're not around to protest. In fact you can make them a character in many of your rip off short stories. Keep it plausible and it's even better. Ancestor worship is a great substitute for God. If that doesn't work, you can always go for some BS about life being a self perpetuating entity that we're all part of, yadda yadda, and claim that it's humanity's destiny to spread life beyond the boundaries of Earth. Giving them a sacred mission that promotes a notion of everything being permissible so long as it can be justified as supposedly benefiting the continuation of life. A sacred mission is a great selling point. Prophecy is a must for all the trendy religions

That's a good idea Andrew.

Hmmm dead Historical figure. No one is using that Mohammed guy these days are they? Or failing that perhaps Doubting Thomas?

[Rum]

Can I be Poop?

[Eddie]

I am down with the shiny robes for the clergy. People like shiny stuff. Also you need a building in which to do book praying, I suggest modest buildings with big ass neon signs. As for the historical figure, I'd go for Spinoza to be the prophet of the Old Atheism and Epicurus the prophet of Very Old Atheism. Just modify their teachings a bit and make up a couple of short stories involving them doing really cool stuff like saving a baby from fire and such. If you really wanna go big then make a dead celebrity a prophet. Elvis? Could work.
Also you need a charity fund. Off course 10% to the poor and hungry and the rest for the clergy.

[Svartalf]

And don't forget Leibnitz... He was deist, but we can gloss over that, and he'll provide the upbeat message we need to make the sheeple happy and quiescent

[Eddie]

Once we go big we can claim anyone we want. With a little bit of cleaver editing we can even claim Jesus. Then we'd have to make him a bastard but still. We'll say his father was an Irish traveler.

[Tero]

But you have to convince them that you have feeling and spirit . And that God is just really a tendency to do good. Wait, that religin slot is taken already, you can just be a Unitarian.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

If we're going to be a religion I need to start taking flying lessons. Not landing lessons, just flying lessons.