Local news...not The Onion

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Tero
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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Tero » Thu Dec 31, 2020 6:19 pm

https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

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Tero
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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Tero » Sun Jan 24, 2021 2:34 pm

Interstate closed due to idiots driving left lane over 2 inches of fresh snow:
The Sarpy County Sheriff’s Office told Channel 8 Eyewitness News a car crossed the median near mile marker 432 and was struck by an oncoming semi.

Officials say road conditions were poor at the time of the crash.

Two of the passengers in the car were pronounced dead.

Another person was taken to an area hospital to be treated for injuries.

The driver of the semi was uninjured.

(The remainder of drivers still getting home from work were forced to drive a 2 lane road. No head on crashes.)
https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

User avatar
Tero
Just saying
Posts: 47197
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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Tero » Tue Jan 26, 2021 8:18 pm

Area man attempts burglary in snow storm :

Lincoln man ended up in jail after getting stuck in the driveway of the rural home he'd allegedly just burgled, according to Lancaster County Sheriff Terry Wagner.

It happened around 7:30 p.m. Monday at a home near Pawnee Lake on Northwest 98th Street.

Wagner said the homeowners noticed a Dodge Durango stuck in their driveway and went to see if the driver needed help. There was no one inside, but they saw a number of their belongings from a storage shed. Things like a fishing tackle box and motorcycle helmet.

Deputies followed fresh tracks in the snow to the neighbor's house, where they found Alexander Janeke, 25, had walked to seek help.

Wagner said they arrested him on suspicion of burglary and theft. The Durango also had been stolen out of Lincoln.
https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

User avatar
Tero
Just saying
Posts: 47197
Joined: Sun Jul 04, 2010 9:50 pm
About me: 15-32-25
Location: USA
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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Tero » Sun Jan 31, 2021 1:23 pm

Zappa fan MOOP, from USA, reports from somewhere not too far South, cause it was cold:

1. I've been without water, since this afternoon. I checked the front of the house and there's a mini
geyser shooting out water down the street. I'm guessing the cold weather broke the pipe.
The tenant downstairs called the water company. They showed up an hour ago. I told the
water guy I'm getting no water at all.
A cop just showed up asking whose cars are parked out front? I told him I don't know.
They're going to wind up being towed, if the owners aren't found. The water company
has to dig up the street, where they're parked.

Hopefully, I can get water back tonight.

2. It was 16 degrees F last night. At 2am, they finally finished and I got
my water back.
https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

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Cunt
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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Cunt » Sun Jan 31, 2021 6:30 pm

Image
Shit, Piss, Cock, Cunt, Motherfucker, Cocksucker and Tits.
-various artists


Joe wrote:
Wed Nov 29, 2023 1:22 pm
he doesn't communicate

The 'Walsh Question' 'What Is A Woman?' I'll put an answer here when someone posts one that is clear and comprehensible, by apostates to the Faith.

Update: I've been offered one!
rainbow wrote:
Mon Nov 06, 2023 9:23 pm
It is actually quite easy. A woman has at least one X chromosome.
Strong ideas don't require censorship to survive. Weak ideas cannot survive without it.

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JimC
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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by JimC » Sun Jan 31, 2021 8:15 pm

A tail told by an idiot, signifying nothing... :tea:
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!

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Cunt
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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Cunt » Sun Jan 31, 2021 8:31 pm

JimC wrote:
Sun Jan 31, 2021 8:15 pm
A tail told by an idiot
Oh come on. I know he isn't a member, so doesn't earn our protection from ad hom, but he looks like a good boy.
Shit, Piss, Cock, Cunt, Motherfucker, Cocksucker and Tits.
-various artists


Joe wrote:
Wed Nov 29, 2023 1:22 pm
he doesn't communicate

The 'Walsh Question' 'What Is A Woman?' I'll put an answer here when someone posts one that is clear and comprehensible, by apostates to the Faith.

Update: I've been offered one!
rainbow wrote:
Mon Nov 06, 2023 9:23 pm
It is actually quite easy. A woman has at least one X chromosome.
Strong ideas don't require censorship to survive. Weak ideas cannot survive without it.

User avatar
Tero
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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Tero » Sun Feb 07, 2021 2:24 pm

Area woman argues with husband, drives off and ends up on rural gravel road dead from cold:
Missing person reports indicated that 48-year-old Amber Tjaden left her home after an argument with her husband on Jan. 27, two days after the snow storm.

A postal carrier with 33-years experience in the area described the cellular service as unreliable and said there is no cell phone service in many places. The Jaguar was found on a low spot among a series of steep hills.

https://www.1011now.com/2021/02/06/auth ... er-tjaden/
https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

User avatar
Cunt
Lumpy Vagina Bloodfart
Posts: 18529
Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2009 3:10 am
Contact:

Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Cunt » Sun Feb 07, 2021 3:30 pm

From the comfort of a warm heater, it's easy to remember how easy it is to die of exposure.

In happier news...
Image
Shit, Piss, Cock, Cunt, Motherfucker, Cocksucker and Tits.
-various artists


Joe wrote:
Wed Nov 29, 2023 1:22 pm
he doesn't communicate

The 'Walsh Question' 'What Is A Woman?' I'll put an answer here when someone posts one that is clear and comprehensible, by apostates to the Faith.

Update: I've been offered one!
rainbow wrote:
Mon Nov 06, 2023 9:23 pm
It is actually quite easy. A woman has at least one X chromosome.
Strong ideas don't require censorship to survive. Weak ideas cannot survive without it.

User avatar
Tero
Just saying
Posts: 47197
Joined: Sun Jul 04, 2010 9:50 pm
About me: 15-32-25
Location: USA
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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Tero » Thu Feb 11, 2021 1:21 pm

Man steals multiple cars, all with keys in the ignition. News does not explain his urgent need for a car:
https://www.1011now.com/2021/02/11/27-y ... ime-spree/
https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

User avatar
JimC
The sentimental bloke
Posts: 73015
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:58 am
About me: To be serious about gin requires years of dedicated research.
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by JimC » Thu Feb 11, 2021 7:56 pm

Tero wrote:
Thu Feb 11, 2021 1:21 pm
Man steals multiple cars, all with keys in the ignition. News does not explain his urgent need for a car:
https://www.1011now.com/2021/02/11/27-y ... ime-spree/
...nor why fucking idiots leave their keys in the ignition...
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!

User avatar
Tero
Just saying
Posts: 47197
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Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Tero » Sat Feb 13, 2021 2:31 am

Gun owners leave guns in unlocked cars.
https://www.1011now.com/2021/02/13/lpd- ... e-in-2020/
https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

User avatar
Tero
Just saying
Posts: 47197
Joined: Sun Jul 04, 2010 9:50 pm
About me: 15-32-25
Location: USA
Contact:

Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Tero » Wed Feb 24, 2021 2:48 pm

Two criminals from Wyoming robbed a wallet at gunpoint. They then used the credit card. Later, cops shoot one dead. Liberal city now needs investigation. We now will add only one criminal to our crowded prison.
https://www.1011now.com/2021/02/24/live ... n-lincoln/
https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

User avatar
Tero
Just saying
Posts: 47197
Joined: Sun Jul 04, 2010 9:50 pm
About me: 15-32-25
Location: USA
Contact:

Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by Tero » Wed Feb 24, 2021 9:17 pm

Wyoming couple now both dead. We won't have to house the survivor after all.
https://omaha.com/news/state-and-region ... c6f63.html

The shoot out was at a corner I use maybe once a month on birding trips. It's the less busy exit of two on the North end of town, from our main interstate. The most common criminals out of state are wyoming and colorado cars shipping weed East.
Last edited by Tero on Wed Feb 24, 2021 9:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.
https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

User avatar
JimC
The sentimental bloke
Posts: 73015
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:58 am
About me: To be serious about gin requires years of dedicated research.
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Re: Local news...not The Onion

Post by JimC » Wed Feb 24, 2021 9:17 pm

They should have stayed in Wyoming... :nono:
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!

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