A Point of View: The underrated power of courtesy
Al Kennedy
Courtesy has a quiet power which is often overlooked, says AL Kennedy.
This week I wanted to talk about courtesy - to discuss the ways in which we seem to have embraced discourtesy. I wanted to talk about how courtesy can make practical sense and ripples out from individuals to change their environments for the better. I wanted to consider the practice of courtesy as a way of being in the world.
Then a friend of mine, a screenwriter called Gill Dennis, died suddenly. He was at home and doing what he did, being in his study, being a writer, a husband, a father - the man we all knew and then he was gone. No more plans to make with him, no more stories to tell.
The thing is, Gill was one of the most truly courteous human beings I have ever met and not mentioning him today would have been hard, and his absence is already too hard, so I'm keeping him here, at least in these words. And now I'm going to tell you an anecdote. It's a story I was going to tell Gill. Wherever you went with him, people would end up telling Gill stories. Because he liked stories. Because he liked people.
So. I was on a train recently and heard a man's voice shouting and swearing and I couldn't help listening, but I would have paid attention, anyway.
I take an interest in bullying and aggression, all the levels of discourtesy. I was bullied slightly at school and later in a relationship. My grandfather - who's my model for a proper man - saw his father ill-treat his mother and was a boxer and had strong opinions about defying flaunted threat and defending women.
(continued...passive aggressive bitching about a unfair world...out there....)
