Post
by Brian Peacock » Sun Jul 06, 2014 5:14 pm
Five reasons why Rationalia is true.
1. In just over five years Rationalia has gone from being powerless to being the greatest force for cheese on the planet.
When Rationalia started it was the prophet Pappa (cheese be upon him) by himself, alone. A one man forum. He was exposed to punishments and oppression from other forums and people who first entered Rationalia were weak and also were oppressed and tortured by the cheese-deniers; Thinking Allowed, Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason and Extra-Marital Sex, and the unclean members of 4Chan. The oppressors did not have the grace to take cheese into their hearts, even if they took it in the mouth. Forward five years and the transformation of these weak and hopeless individuals to become the most exalted and powerful on the internet is inescapable.
2. Rationalia and its Eloquence as a Linguistic Miracle.
As the Rationalians of that time were so linguistically gifted, a linguistic miracle was fit for the situation. Words were sent to people who were already so eloquent in the Rationaliian language, words like 'Wankfest', 'Wankery', and 'Wankerisation'. Beautiful and mysterious word hitherto unspoken by humankind. If Rationalia was not a linguistic miracle, then none of the Rationalian Poets would come up and say some poetry to challenge and lift our hearts. And the most moving and profound of their poetry is in praise of cheese. This is a scientific fact that cannot be denied.
3. Pappa's power is unbounded.
When Pappa (cheese be upon him) needed to test his true followers he set them an impossible task to test their faith in him. He asked them to kill - to kill a thread to win cheesy glory in his eyes. Those that tried are of the highest and one day Pappa will return, and joy and cheddar will abound.
4. Rationalia is the only website that makes sense in terms of cheese and bacon.
In our world, internet forums have becoming a shopping center where almost every person can gorge their evil souls on bogus stories or a fake report about a nice sandwich they once had. It makes it hard to distinguish the true forums from the lies of the evil ones. Some have went all bacony on the scale of bacon plus ten, to eleven bacon only. Others have gone all the way to denying the very existence of cheese. Only Rationalia can gather both ends in a harmonic mixture and balance, like a quiche, with cheese above bacon, which is the natural order of the world. Those who accept this truth will have seventy-two types of cheese in heaven, and live in joy and without pain, with full and unbridled access to Pappa's enormous love, which is truly enormous.
5. Have you been to a Ratz meetup?
If you have been to a meetup or trainwreck then you are blesseded and you would be knowing for sure what the word equality really means. You would be see Americans with Asians with Arabs with Hispanic with European, and even with the XC - who many consider an abomination. When all are gathered in one place all are brothers and sisters who will protect each other and truly love each other - sometime twice in one night. So at meetup and trainwreck you would see all nations and colors in one place bowing down for the creator Pappa, ready to receive his enormous love. Hundreds of years and millions of dollars would never gather these people together and make them brothers and sisters, but Rationalia did. Don’t believe me; go any meetup near you, or travel to a strange land, and you will be welcomed, and loved, and the cheese will be upon you.
Rationalia relies on voluntary donations. There is no obligation of course, but if you value this place and want to see it continue please consider making a small donation towards the forum's running costs.
Details on how to do that can be found here.
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"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice.
There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."
Frank Zappa
"This is how humanity ends; bickering over the irrelevant."
Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
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