You may as well start looting now, say experts

[cronus]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/soci ... 0716110920

You may as well start looting now, say experts

EVERYTHING is falling apart so you should get a head start on your looting, experts have confirmed.

The Institute for Studies warned that first-time looters could lose out on electrical goods, sports wear and tinned vegetables if they waited for law and order to collapse entirely.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “At this stage try to avoid smashing any windows or intimidating shop staff. Think of it more as morally justifiable shoplifting.

“But over the next few weeks you should be building up a stockpile of stolen goods. If possible steal a supermarket trolley. This will be very handy when we reach full anarchy.”

He added: “Since Boris Johnson became foreign secretary I’ve stolen 18 pairs of trainers, a bluetooth speaker and loads of ‘fun size’ Milky Ways.

(continued)

[JimC]

...and stock up on gin...

[laklak]

Brewer's yeast, 5.56 and 9mm, 12 gauge, that should do it.

[rasetsu]

I stole a shopping cart but now I can't leave the parking lot.

[laklak]

Go to the rich section of town, they don't have those wheel locks on them.